Remember the days when Men were Men, & Women were Women?

Are you searching to gain something mysterious you have lost?  

Are you irresistibly attracted to people who possess traits you don’t like?  

Are you a tomato, a cucumber, or both?

Is there a strong Inner Matriarch or Inner Patriarch at play here?

strong firm cucumbers

Remember the days when men were men and women were women?  Everyone had their designated role, and life ran smoothly, they complemented each other – so to speak, until one or the other decided one day, that what their job description was, just wasn’t enough anymore.  They weren’t happy anymore with their specialised, unique positions.

juicy red ripe tomatoes

Imagine now two plants growing side by side in the garden, a tomato plant and a cucumber plant. 

One sunny morning ms. tomato plant says to the mr. cucumber plant “It’s not enough for me anymore to just produce tomatoes, I would like to produce some cucumbers as well.” 

Cucumbers’ response – “What? I have been producing cucumbers all my life, my parents and grandparents and great grandparents produced only cucumbers, now you, who has only produced tomatoes think you can do a better job at producing cucumbers than I, the cucumber expert?”

tomato - “to be fair then, you can produce some tomatoes”

cucumber – “but I like what I do, I don’t want to do your job”

tomato – “well if I’m going to take on some of your responsibilities, then you should take on some of mine also”

cucumber - “does this mean that you won’t need me anymore, now that you will be producing both tomatoes and cucumbers?”

God created man and woman with different bodies, different thought processes to complement each other.  If we were meant to be alone, and do everything ourselves, he would have created us with both male and female characteristics.  Wouldn’t he now.

lost identity

Has anyone noticed that since the job description of man and woman was put into a big wheelbarrow and turned and mixed, that we have forgotten what we were put on this earth to do.  Were there this many relationship breakdowns in our grandparents and great grandparents time?  I think not.  They knew that tomato plants produced tomatoes, and cucumber plants produced only cucumbers.  Their future generations unfortunately, thought they knew better, and look at the results.

If you read ‘Tiger & Tigress’ you will notice how strong the Inner Patriarch is at times, and ‘Tomato & Cucumber’ is a reflection of the Belief System of the Inner Patriarch.

Inner Patriarch

Did you know that each of us has an Inner Tiger and Inner Tigress within? Carl Jung calls these Archetypes ‘Inner Patriarch’ and ‘Inner Matriarch’.

Hal and Sidra Stone write in depth about the Patriarch and Matriarch in their book “The Shadow King”.  These two archetypes, among others, can cause havoc  in relationships, especially for women.  This inner voice unconsciously influences Women’s sexuality, their power, emotions, and their role within relationships. 

Have any of you ever felt the way I did, when I realised that there was an anxious father inside me, the Inner Parent, that constantly worried about me, the Inner Child.  He didn’t want me to fall flat on my face or be rejected, get hurt, or abandoned.  He is this old-fashioned guy who thinks that I and all women need to be taken care of by a wealthy husband and kept safely wrapped in cottonwool.  These are words my late father used to say to me all the time, and when I heard it coming from within me, I thought it was just me regurgitating his words.   This was until I studied ‘Voice Dialogue’ and realised that wasn’t the case.  This person – father figure is actually part of me.  He is controlling my life.  Only when the penny dropped and I realised what was happening that I was able to change what was going on around and within me. 

A strong inner patriarch, or Inner Parent in a woman can make her ashamed and defensive in relationships.  I felt this way constantly.  I was always defending myself and justifying what I did or didn’t do.  I was a doormat with a big self print ‘wipe your feet here’.

If an animal is kept locked up in a cage for many years, it will become wild.  If the door is opened inadvertently, the animal comes out RAGING.  Her rage in her life, was a result – of living a life of PLEASING OTHERS.  A life where her needs came LAST.

Inner Matriarch

As my aware ego awakens, and I separate from my primary selves,  I literally become aware of the fact, that it is they, not I, who have been living my life.  Come and share my journey with me and discover a new key to an old block that thousands of years of Patriarchy has instilled deep within each of us.

Primary selves are those that develop to protect us in the world.  They are the building blocks of our personality.  They make us who we are in the now.

Join me next time, as we discover more inner selves, and if you would like to talk to me about your inner selves just call 0438 503011

olya