Aug 10 2009
Changing Ourselves – Dialogue Within Inner Parent/Child
Voice Dialogue – A Creative Force
The enemy is no longer “out there” but lies deep within each of us – heal your inner parent first.
When The Words Say ‘Give Up’ – Hope Whispers ‘Try It One More Time’ 
:) :)
Our basic assumptions are developed from childhood, family, teachers, books and so on. We hold them so deeply, that we become identified with them, and when these assumptions are challenged, we defend them with great emotion. Like maybe, a computer program – it takes over against the best of intentions, and will produce it’s own intentions.
True dialogue is a creative force, and its object is to generate new relationships, as everything is part of a whole, and relationships are what give meaning to the parts, what makes us feel connected to the whole.
The main culprit is our own thought process itself. The battle between inner parent and inner child.
Whenever we intend to do something, we often unconsciously feel a resistance trying to prevent us from doing it …… the opposite can also be true.
Have you ever come to a conclusion that something, anything, is over, or never was, won’t work, not meant to be, has no chance of coming to fruition, yet – the voice inside perpetuates the impossible. Like, it isn’t even you – another has jumped into your body and is driving your mercedes.
Inner Parent vs Inner Child
Inner Parent
Your Inner Parent reflects qualities received through your formative years from your own parents, siblings, teachers, friends, actually anyone whom you had contact with that impacted on you, positively and negatively.
Inner Child
Your Inner Child is the bubbly, happy, fun, personality, with feelings and emotions. It lives in the present, no real concern for the future, and doesn’t bother too much about the past. Wants to have fun now. Likes to get it’s own way, just like children do. Your Inner Child has the same characteristics as it did in it’s formative years, from birth to age seven.
So, who is the strong one within? Is it the Inner Parent, or the Inner Child?
Haven’t you ever heard a conversation going on in your head and wondered what was going on?
Maybe you haven’t even been aware of it. Well, become aware, because it is your Inner Parent and Inner Child having a conversation. Sometimes there is a win/win situation, or a win/lose situation, or a lose/win situation or a lose/lose situation. Wouldn’t you like to know what it’s all about?
We are constantly producing situations and things we do not intend, and then say “… how on earth did it get to this point – and how can I go back to the beginning and start again …” We are just not aware that it is our deeper, hidden intentions which produced it, and, consequently, we keep on perpetuating it. Relationship is what creates anything and everything. It can be good, it can be bad, it can be neither good nor bad – just is.
Dialogue does not require people to agree with each other. It encourages people to participate in a bubble of shared meaning that leads to aligned action. It is a non-judgmental curiosity, its prime directive is being able to see things as clearly as possible, not through a fragmented process.
As each of us is born into a dysfunctional family of sorts, the process of dialogue may free us from real or imagined self-imposed limitations, and as a result, we may even recover self-respect, self-worth and self-esteem. Imagine trying to converse with another, yet, only having a one way communication, which is a contradiction in itself, because, without the other responding, you are not having a communication at all, you are only having a dialogue with the selves that live within you.
Imagine also, all this going on, on top of a self-respect, self-worth, and self-esteem issue. Is this just going to reinforce the belief that it is YOU that has the problem? Or, maybe it will open your eyes to the fact that you have NO problem (self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem issue), because you would never act in a way which may injure the Inner Child of the other person. You, as an Inner Parent, would never ignore another human being for any reason. You would communicate to get to the root of the problem – if there is a problem, wouldn’t you. I know I would.
Then your mind starts ticking – tick tick tick – you begin to see the picture differently. It is now reversed. You are the perfect one, just as you are, and then, the penny drops, you are not broken after all, what a sigh of relief, when you come to the conclusion, that it is the person not conversing, the one who is shouting out so silently, that they are in need of a self-worth, self-respect and self-esteem boost.
When I was teaching Ukrainian School, many years ago, I would hear teachers in the other classrooms shouting over their students. Did it ever work? NO! If my class ever became unruly, I would lower my voice and continue teaching, the louder they became, the quieter I became, until there was silence in the room, then and only then would my voice return to normal. It didn’t take them long to learn the rules, and it was not necessary for me to ever punish or raise my voice. In my silence, I was asking God to come to my rescue, and he always did. SO – next time you are confronted with a situation where you feel like the other person is superior to you and therefor makes you feel inferior – STOP – jump into their shoes, (my mother used to always say this) and look at the situation through their eyes, from their perspective, and always keep your head high, knowing that you always do your best, and ask the higher source for guidance for these lost lambs, (you included) for it is they who are silently reaching out to you, knowing that you will understand their silent cry for attention. oops … the reverse of this can also be true, “ah – a light bulb situation”. As I was proof reading, the penny dropped for me also, and only the silent ones will understand this one. he he he – thank you
A level of trust needs to be generated that will survive any crisis or difficulty. These newfound relationships make it possible for these individuals to tolerate things from one another that they were unable to accept before, and to approach the subject and resolve any problem. This process requires patience, dedication and determination. It has been said that – the quality of our thinking determines the quality of our actions, which determine the quality of our results, which, in turn determine the quality of our relationships, and so on. If one hits the gas pedal and brake pedal simultaneously, the result would produce no motion and energy waste. In the absence of resistance, energy is not wasted and actions do not cancel each other out.
It is time for us to rethink our old beliefs and develop a new way of communicating with one another and bonding for our common purpose. How many relationships would be saved, if we all knew how to communicate with one another, rather than talking at one another, or simply not responding at all. The mind boggles.
till next time ………
olga szewczuk
- 0438 503 011
