Man & Woman – Inner Patriarch vs Inner Matriarch vs Inner Child vs Inner Parent

Have you ever liked someone, but didn’t really know why,  just that a part of them was reaching out to you, and the part in you that needed to feel needed, was eager to help.

In time, that part of you, the eager helper, fell in love with the vulnerable part in him that was reaching out.

Was it your Inner Parent wanting to protect his Inner Child?

How does a relationship like this even lift off? 

What happens when the vulnerable part in him, his Inner Child heals? 

Does this mean the relationship was doomed from the start?

A part of you wanted to stay impersonal for fear of being rejected, (your Inner Child) therefore you would be less connected as you would be protecting your vulnerable self by keeping your distance.

Another part of you wanted to be personal because you liked him, although you didn’t know how he actually felt, you wanted more of a connection, but you feared you would be less protected, in other words – vulnerable, open, exposed.

What about switching between one and the other.  You can be personal one minute, but if you don’t get the response you expect, you may switch to impersonal, where your vulnerability is protected. Pretty crazy type of relationship, that may never even get off the ground, due to the vulnerabilities of both.

Imagine a man not wanting to be smothered, and a woman not wanting to be rejected.  How could these two even get together with such opposing fears?

The woman tries to make contact on numerous occasions, sometimes leaving a great deal of distance between the contacts.  The man may perceive this as smothering, so he does not reply, she then perceives this as rejection.

What is the solution?

You may say, forget him – there are plenty of fish in the sea, so you go fishing. Unfortunately, every time you catch a fish, your focus is on him, not the fish you caught, so the fish swims off, and you’re back to square one.

I have no answers for this one, but if anyone is willing to add their 2cents worth in, I would be more than happy to listen.

This is just one of many scenarios of how inner selves can create havoc in relationships.  There is a vulnerable Inner Child in each of us, although a vulnerable child has no business controlling an adult body and mind.  This is where Voice Dialogue can be very helpful in sorting this type of situation out.

Tags: Dr. John K. Pollard, inner child, inner matriarch, Inner Parent, inner patriarch, Relationships, Switching

Who Is Living Your Life?

What Does This Inner Self Know That We Have Forgotten?

Why Do We Think The Way We Think, Feel The Way We Feel, Act The Way We Act?

Imagine hearing a voice on the other end of the phone from a person you don’t know, have never met, yet, you feel like you have known this person before.  Every cell in your body in resonating with recognition, familiarity, warmth, love, caring, yearning, wanting to be with them again,(not understanding why you feel this way) excited to have found them again, and, at the same time feeling the frustration and deep longing to just get a glimpse of them and maybe, just maybe there will be a familiarity.  You feel like you will go crazy if you don’t find some way, of meeting them.  Only when you look into their eyes, and through their eyes deep into their soul, will you know for sure. 

Are You Crazy? ……. or just delusional …….  he he he

Then you start having this conversation within yourself.  It seems like there may be a party going on in your head, with so many voices getting their two cents worth in.  Your life has just been turned upside down, and you don’t know why, or what to do about it.  

Do you just pass it off as a lonely moment connection with a charismatic voice?  I don’t think so. 

 While all this commotion is going on in your head, the ‘voice’ rings back, and you think – ahh – maybe he felt it also.

“No”  - says an unfamiliar voice in your head.

“Yes” – says another unfamiliar voice in your head.

Then the ‘voice’ calls back again, and you say to yourself,  ”well something is happening here”, and then the ‘voice’ calls again.

Right – you  think to yourself. “I need to meet this voice, don’t know how, I just know that I do.”

So you find a ridiculous reason/excuse to meet.  ”Don’t – he will think you are crazy” says one inner self.  ”Oh go for it” says another self, “what have you got to lose”.

You Meet …………….. You Now Know …………….. The Feeling Is Stronger Than Ever ………..

Your heart goes out to this soul, you feel the pain and loss, many losses, and you just want to bundle him up, hold him, and tell him that everything is going to be okay, although he doesn’t remember you, or does he?  

Does He Recognize You?

Yes – I think so.  No – I don’t know.

So you spend the next almost five years thinking about him, dreaming about him, sending him healing, love, energy, messages, without getting anything in return.  The sadness overwhelms you, when you come to the realization that he does not remember, (as tears flow down your cheeks) and may not remember in this life time.  You may have to wait, to be together, maybe in the next life. (if you believe in many lives) Then it occurs to you that there are obviously still lessons to be learnt, by one or both of you.

My Inner Child is reaching out to his Inner Child – yet he does not feel this.

I wish I could forget.  

I wish I never remembered.

I wish he would remember.

p.s. – This is fiction, although it could be true, the mind boggles.

Tags: Future Lives, inner child, Inner Voice, Past Lives, Relationships

Voice Dialogue – A Creative Force

The enemy is no longer “out there” but lies deep within each of us – heal your inner parent first.

When The Words Say ‘Give Up’ – Hope Whispers ‘Try It One More Time’  :)  :)

Our basic assumptions are developed from childhood, family, teachers, books and so on.  We hold them so deeply, that we become identified with them, and when these assumptions are challenged, we defend them with great emotion.  Like maybe, a computer program – it takes over against the best of intentions, and will produce it’s own intentions.

True dialogue is a creative force, and its object is to generate new relationships, as everything is part of a whole, and relationships are what give meaning to the parts, what makes us feel connected to the whole.

The main culprit is our own thought process itself.  The battle between inner parent and inner child.

Whenever we intend to do something, we often unconsciously feel a resistance trying to prevent us from doing it …… the opposite can also be true.

Have you ever come to a conclusion that something, anything, is over, or never was, won’t work, not meant to be, has no chance of coming to fruition, yet – the voice inside perpetuates the impossible. Like, it isn’t even you – another has jumped into your body and is driving your mercedes.

Inner Parent vs Inner Child 

Inner Parent

Your Inner Parent reflects qualities received through your formative years from your own parents, siblings, teachers, friends, actually anyone whom you had contact with that impacted on you, positively and negatively.

Inner Child

Your Inner Child is the bubbly, happy, fun, personality, with feelings and emotions.  It lives in the present, no real concern for the future, and doesn’t bother too much about the past.  Wants to have fun now.  Likes to get it’s own way, just like children do. Your Inner Child has the same characteristics as it did in it’s formative years, from birth to age seven.

So, who is the strong one within?  Is it the Inner Parent, or the Inner Child?

Haven’t you ever heard a conversation going on in your head and wondered what was going on?

Maybe you haven’t even been aware of it.  Well, become aware, because it is your Inner Parent and Inner Child having a conversation.  Sometimes there is a win/win situation, or a win/lose situation, or a lose/win situation or a lose/lose situation.  Wouldn’t you like to know what it’s all about?

We are constantly producing situations and things we do not intend, and then say “… how on earth did it get to this point – and how can I go back to the beginning and start again …”  We are just not aware that it is our deeper, hidden intentions which produced it, and, consequently, we keep on perpetuating it.  Relationship is what creates anything and everything.  It can be good, it can be bad, it can be neither good nor bad – just is.

Dialogue does not require people to agree with each other. It encourages people to participate in a bubble of shared meaning that leads to aligned action. It is a non-judgmental curiosity, its prime directive is being able to see things as clearly as possible, not through a fragmented process.

As each of us is born into a dysfunctional family of sorts, the process of dialogue may free us from real or imagined self-imposed limitations, and as a result, we may even recover self-respect, self-worth and self-esteem.  Imagine trying to converse with another, yet, only having a one way communication, which is a contradiction in itself, because, without the other responding, you are not having a communication at all, you are only having a dialogue with the selves that live within you.

Imagine also, all this going on, on top of a self-respect, self-worth, and self-esteem issue.   Is this just going to reinforce the belief that it is YOU that has the problem? Or, maybe it will open your eyes to the fact that you have NO problem (self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem issue), because you would never act in a way which may injure the Inner Child of the other person. You, as an Inner Parent, would never ignore another human being for any reason.  You would communicate to get to the root of the problem – if there is a problem, wouldn’t you.  I know I would.

Then your mind starts ticking – tick tick tick – you begin to see the picture differently.  It is now reversed.  You are the perfect one, just as you are, and then, the penny drops, you are not broken after all, what a sigh of relief, when you come to the conclusion, that it is the person not conversing, the one who is shouting out so silently, that they are in need of a self-worth, self-respect and self-esteem boost.

When I was teaching Ukrainian School, many years ago, I would hear teachers in the other classrooms shouting over their students.  Did it ever work?  NO!  If my class ever became unruly, I would lower my voice and continue teaching, the louder they became, the quieter I became, until there was silence in the room, then and only then would my voice return to normal.  It didn’t take them long to learn the rules, and it was not necessary for me to ever punish or raise my voice.  In my silence, I was asking God to come to my rescue, and he always did.  SO – next time you are confronted with a situation  where you feel like the other person is superior to you and therefor makes you feel inferior – STOP – jump into their shoes, (my mother used to always say this) and look at the situation through their eyes, from their perspective, and always keep your head high, knowing that you always do your best, and ask the higher source for guidance for these lost lambs, (you included) for it is they who are silently reaching out to you, knowing that you will understand their silent cry for attention.  oops … the reverse of this can also be true, “ah – a light bulb situation”.  As I was proof reading, the penny dropped for me also, and only the silent ones will understand this one.  he he he – thank you

A level of trust needs to be generated that will survive any crisis or difficulty.  These newfound relationships make it possible for these individuals to tolerate things from one another that they were unable to accept before, and to approach the subject and resolve any problem.  This process requires patience, dedication and determination.   It has been said that – the quality of our thinking determines the quality of our actions, which determine the quality of our results, which, in turn determine the quality of our relationships, and so on.  If one hits the gas pedal and brake pedal simultaneously, the result would produce no motion and energy waste.  In the absence of resistance, energy is not wasted and actions do not cancel each other out.

It is time for us to rethink our old beliefs and develop a new way of communicating with one another and bonding for our common purpose.  How many relationships would be saved, if we all knew how to communicate with one another, rather than talking at one another, or simply not responding at all.  The mind boggles.

till next time ………

olga szewczuk

- 0438 503 011

Tags: communication, dialogue, Dr. John K. Pollard, dysfunctional family, Hal & Sidra Stone., inner child, Inner Parent, John Nutting., prime directive, Relationships, self imposed limitations, self parenting., self-esteem, self-respect, self-worth, voice dialogue

Beautiful Swan Metaphor

Once upon a time

Imagine a beautiful young swan out in the pristine blue lake, keeping herself busy doing what swans do.  The sun shining, the water so still, resembling a sheet of delicate glass. 

Day after day the beautiful swan would swoon onto the lake ever so gracefully and put in a full day, then fly off home again to be with her family, only to return the next day, and the next, and the next. She was very responsible and hard working.

Then one day something changed.  A very very large male swan from a distant land, flew in to visit his sister swan, who was a friend of our beautiful swan, and when their eyes met, they fell into what some of us may call Love.  In a very short time, everyone noticed that even though our beautiful swan still put in the hours, she wasn’t in the same part of the lake anymore.  She was upgraded to a little embankment, where she was training new swans.  You see – she was sitting on one very precious egg.  She was very very happy, because you see, she was going to be a mother, and have a happy little family of her own.

It wasn’t long before the very very large male swan didn’t come around anymore.  He had his fun and decided to find another swan to entertain him.  You see ….. when he was a signet, his father did the same thing, left him and his mother to be with another swan. I guess the memory of that painful disintegration was locked in his cells, and he too deserted his little one, unfortunately, before it had even hatched.

Our beautiful swan held her head high, and did what she knew in her heart she was meant to do. She moved out of her family nest into a very small nest of her own, because she thought if she were on her own, her signets father would definitely want to be part of their lives.  She bent over backwards, inviting him over, encouraging him to be a better father than his own father was.  To no avail – he wasn’t interested.  He liked his freedom too much, didn’t want to be tied down.  Preferred to be free and have fun instead.  You see, he wasn’t much for responsibility. BIG mistake, big, huge.

Finally the big day arrived. It was time for the little signet to come into the world.  The little signet finally hatched, and she was beautiful, with eyes so big, you could swim in them.  

Our beautiful swan even encouraged her little signets father to be there at the moment she came into this world.  Hoping that once he saw her, how beautiful she was, that he would stay, that he would want to be part of a secure, warm family, something he missed out on. The beautiful swan welcomed him time and time again, and encouraged him to be part of their family.  The tears in her eyes were heartbreaking, as she tried to keep her little family together.  She was determined to rescue her signets father from his pain.  Unfortunately, this wasn’t to be.  He just wasn’t interested enough to stay around.

The beautiful swan raised her little signet all alone, without the support of the swan she was still so very much  in love with. Yes, he would come and visit their little signet, but I guess he just didn’t love her enough to be a permanent part of her life. He didn’t love her enough to give her the security he was deprived of.  He deprived her of a full time father, just as he was deprived of a full time father himself.  He flitted from one swan to another and another never settling down. Wanting his cake and eating it too.

The little signet was immersed in a cloud of love.  She received more love from her mother, than she could possibly imagine. All her family flocked to her side constantly.  She was bathed in love and attention. She grew into a beautiful little swan.  Her mother was very very proud of her, as were all the other swans in her family.  A little chatterbox, wise as wise could be.  She could hold a conversation with all the older swans. She was a very special little swan.

Our Inner Child holds the key to intimacy in relationships, physical and emotional well-being, and the creativity and wisdom of our inner selves. 

The Inner Child lives within all of us, and hidden under our grown-up personas. It’s the part of us that feels emotions, is playful, intuitive, and creative. 

We are all born with a set of unconscious patterns of behavior that psychologists call archetypes. 
Carl Jung is the psychologist who has most influenced the modern understanding of an ancient concept. 

If your life’s experiences are not playing out in the way you would like, and you are leading a relatively stagnant life – looking outside for causes is pointless. Go within. Choose growth over stagnation. 

Olga – 0438 503 011

Tags: happiness, inner child, inner matriarch, inner patriarch, metaphor, Relationships, signets, swans

“The Invisible Force That Holds Women Back”

Inner Patriarch

Did you know that each of us has an Inner Tiger and Inner Tigress within? Carl Jung calls these Archetypes ‘Inner Patriarch’ and ‘Inner Matriarch’.

Hal and Sidra Stone write in depth about the Patriarch and Matriarch in their book “The Shadow King”.  These two archetypes, among others, can cause havoc  in relationships, especially for women.  This inner voice unconsciously influences Women’s sexuality, their power, emotions, and their role within relationships. 

Have any of you ever felt the way I did, when I realised that there was an anxious father inside me, the Inner Parent, that constantly worried about me, the Inner Child.  He didn’t want me to fall flat on my face or be rejected, get hurt, or abandoned.  He is this old-fashioned guy who thinks that I and all women need to be taken care of by a wealthy husband and kept safely wrapped in cottonwool.  These are words my late father used to say to me all the time, and when I heard it coming from within me, I thought it was just me regurgitating his words.   This was until I studied ‘Voice Dialogue’ and realised that wasn’t the case.  This person – father figure is actually part of me.  He is controlling my life.  Only when the penny dropped and I realised what was happening that I was able to change what was going on around and within me. 

A strong inner patriarch, or Inner Parent in a woman can make her ashamed and defensive in relationships.  I felt this way constantly.  I was always defending myself and justifying what I did or didn’t do.  I was a doormat with a big self print ‘wipe your feet here’.

If an animal is kept locked up in a cage for many years, it will become wild.  If the door is opened inadvertently, the animal comes out RAGING.  Her rage in her life, was a result – of living a life of PLEASING OTHERS.  A life where her needs came LAST.

Inner Matriarch

As my aware ego awakens, and I separate from my primary selves,  I literally become aware of the fact, that it is they, not I, who have been living my life.  Come and share my journey with me and discover a new key to an old block that thousands of years of Patriarchy has instilled deep within each of us.

Primary selves are those that develop to protect us in the world.  They are the building blocks of our personality.  They make us who we are in the now.

Join me next time, as we discover more inner selves, and if you would like to talk to me about your inner selves just call 0438 503011

olya

Tags: animal, aware ego, Carl Jung, doormat, Dr. John K. Pollard, hal stone, holds women back, inner child, inner matriarch, Inner Parent, inner patriarch, invisible force, personality, pleasing others, primary selves, Relationships, sidra stone, tiger, tigress

Did You Know That We Are Like Apples And Wine?

                

Apples and Wine…. ah, now there’s a thought ……

Have you heard, that Women are like juicy, sweet yet firm apples on apple trees? 

The best and sweetest ones are at the very top of the tree, drinking in the rays of the sun and morning dew.

 

Most men, just aren’t prepared to reach for the best, for fear of falling.  

History has shown them that there is also a risk of getting hurt.

Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground, the ones that were tired of hanging around and decided to risk a bruise or two, just to be chosen.

Then there are the men who will pick the easy apples on the lowest branches, only to find them a little ordinary, because anyone can reach those. Free for the picking.

Some men may even stretch themselves and reach a little higher for a better quality. They may even find that although these apples were a little more difficult to reach, they are still quite average, easier, yet not as good as the ones at the very top.

The apples at the very top think something is very wrong with them, because they have not been chosen. They feel excluded,rejected, when in reality, they’re amazing. 

They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the amazing one, who believes he is good enough, and is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree to reach the best.

  

Now Men on the other hand…. Men are like a fine wine.

They begin as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have with dinner.  

………. or the other version …………..

They begin as grapes, and may not even realize how good they really are, because some of them may have been stomped on by women who were not aware that premium wine comes, when the weight of the grapes alone squeezes gently, until the grapes release their juice, then, there comes careful maturation, as ageing brings the final polish.  Everybody knows that it takes years for a good quality, smooth on the palate wine.  

The longer the wine is aged, the higher quality it becomes.

However, after decades, quality wine, if not stored right, can deteriorate.

 

Vines are a hardy perennial and bloom in the second year of growth. There is a need to tend to them patiently, train the vines to grow only where you want them to.

Very important to confine grapes, as once established, grapevines like to ramble and can soon dominate. Just the right pruning, not too heavy, not too light.  

Balance is the key here.  

And remember – Grapes change colour long before they are ripe.  Since they will not improve after harvest, the way to avoid ’sour grapes’ is to taste first, if not ripe, wait for them to develop.

till next time – enjoy

olya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tags: amazing, apple tree, apples & wine, dew, excluded, grapes, inner child, inner matriarch, inner patriarch, men, rays, rejected, Relationships, sun, sweetest, women

Panda Bear Relationship

“PANDA BEAR RELATIONSHIPS”

Hello again – My grandson is now 12 weeks old – still a little while before the girls start batting their long eyelashes at him, although his 4 year old cousin is already doing it, and so is his 19 year old auntie.  Their Inner Child connecting with his.

“Once Upon A Time”………………… There was a Panda Bear who was in search of a mate ……….. and they lived happily ever after……… or did they?

Did you know?

When a Female Panda Bear is ready to mate, she sends her energy, thoughts, desires, passion out into the Universe.
She doesn’t just want a mate – she wants the best mate. ‘BEST’

The Strongest.
Most Caring.
Best Provider.
Most Attentive.
Affectionate.
Patient.
Good Listener.

Someone who will never desert her, who will stay with her through thick and thin. Be there with her from beginning to end.
Will be sensitive/loving throughout her emotional challenges, be they PMS, ‘hormonal pregnancy’ sensitive times, ‘not enough sleep – baby feeding times’, ups and downs of menopause, or anything else that may reveal itself throughout the relationship.

The Male Panda Bears pick up her messages, and head in her direction.
The first of many arrives and approaches her, yet to his amazement, she hisses, and spits, and scratches, and bites.
He is totally blown away – shakes his head and walks away. Total Confusion. “Women” – he mutters under his breath.
She brushes herself off, and continues to munch on her organic bamboo shoots. With A Knowing, That The Right One Will Come.

Not long after the first Panda Bear wandered off in total amazement, another was approaching through the thick bamboo growth.
He was much bigger than the first, with Big Eyes, BIG – HUGE.
He could see a clearing through the thick growth, and then he saw her, sitting to one side of the clearing, totally absorbed by what she was doing, and paying no attention to the crackling noises coming from afar.
As he approached, he was bedazzled by her beauty, she glanced up for just a moment and his big sensitive eyes looked straight through her. For a moment – she was frozen. He took that as a sign, and stepped closer, when all of a sudden, she jumped to her feet and growled at him, he not knowing what to do stepped back, then approached her again, she took a swipe at him, and he went running! running … running … running. Running Very Fast. WOW! Women – they give you the come on then they turn on you.

One suitor after another and another and another, came and left.
There was the Panda Bear who had the Sweetest Voice, and would serenade her.
Then there was Dancing Feet – who would spin her ’round the clearing.
Big Ears – who would listen to all her problems.
Strong Arms – who would hold her when she needed to be held.
She hissed, and scratched, and bit, and growled at all of them, and they all left, never to return. Licking their wounds and feeling hard done by this Crazy Female Panda Bear.
She was calm and composed, because SHE KNEW that when the right one came along, ‘She Would Know’, and ‘He Would Stay’.

Then One Day – out of the blue, the ground shook, twigs snapped, there was music in the air. As she stood up to see what all the commotion was about – He stepped through the thick growth into the clearing.
Their eyes met, and ‘She Knew’, as he stepped closer to her. Then, all of a sudden she lunged at him, hissed, and scratched, and bit, and growled. He didn’t run.
‘He Stayed’ - and they lived happily ever after. She knew that with all his strength, they would have the strongest, best baby panda bears, because they would have all the qualities of all the other Panda Bears, in one neat package.

Men – Did You Know, That Women Are Panda Bears? All They Want Is To Be Loved Always.  Is there a strong Inner Matriarch at play here?

THE END
Olga Szewczuk

Tags: inner child, inner matriarch, inner patriarch, love, men, panda bear relationships, Relationships, women, women are panda bears too

Wanting What You Can’t Have

A Snow Goose Need Not Bathe To Make Herself White.

“A Snow Goose Need Not Bathe To Make Herself White, Neither Need You Do Anything, But Be Yourself.” L.T.

Ladies – Have you ever felt like you were losing your energy for relationships?

Like the men you meet are draining you, instead of energizing you?

“Your Soulmate will reflect the True You, as Love reflects Love.”

Who is at play here – the Inner Child, Inner Matriarch, Inner Patriarch?

Are we just puppets on a string?  Mind boggles ……….

THE MOMENT YOU GIVE UP WHAT YOU WANT, FOR A MAN, SO HE CAN HAVE WHAT HE WANTS,

 YOU LOSE. BIG TIME.  HUGE…….

Work on yourselves, your dreams, instead of trying to turn a man, who may not be the one, into a relationship.

STOP all that obsessing and see clearly where the relationship is, is not, and where you want it to be.

And by ‘RELATIONSHIP‘ – It can be – after your first phone conversation, coffee, dinner, or even years of waiting for him, because he told you that he needed one year of healing, for every ten years of past relationship time.

Simply ‘not true’ past pain just washes away, when you meet the right one.

Have you ever felt completely besotted within a relationship, or by the prospect of a future relationship, that you couldn’t see a big enough picture of what was really going on?

If you are “crazy for a man” in a way that he is not expressing to YOU – it could be, that you are pushing him away with your actions. The energy has to come FROM the man TO us. If it doesn’t, he experiences it as a PUSH, and may withdraw. Trying to get the love and energy from him that you so truly want, by giving too much, will only drive him away.

…..it is not easy, when you’re thinking about someone you’re attracted to. Wanting it to be a particular way, yet, he’s just not there physically, emotionally or energetically ………. The problem is, WOMEN are natural givers, and many times, they get taken for granted. That is why, the game of “being unavailable sometimes” has ALWAYS been popular.

“Being there for a man” is a great thing – but not always. Just sometimes. There is no point, being in an exclusive relationship, where you are giving all the time, yet not receiving. It is not a real relationship when your are not feeling fulfilled, satisfied and secure.

A woman who takes on an always-there-for-you-sexually, emotionally, energetically, physically, No Matter How You Treat Me or fulfill My Needs quality, and a long-suffering, understanding “his issues” quality – will always be looked at by any man as a Doormat. Disposable woman you dump, when the hot girl who really IS “hard-to-get” shows up.

Write down – how YOU want your relationship to look, now and in the future.

‘If his line is …’

“I want to have a great time with you, and just see where it takes us…” RUN, DON’T WALK

IT MEANS – he doesn’t want a real long term relationship – What He Really Wants Is A -
mother, maid, girl friday, therapist, hooker, nurse, business partner, sister, friend.

We either hold back and don’t say what’s on our minds, and how we feel, or, we pour our feelings all over him, and he runs.

A man wants a woman, He Has To Work For- and once he has her, she is then “There for him.” In a good way for both.

THE BEST WAY TO “BE THERE” FOR A MAN IS TO BE THERE FOR YOURSELF
No man wants a woman who presents herself to him on a silver platter.
Have a life that doesn’t focus on him constantly. Be happy even when he’s not there.
You have to find a way, by spending time and energy doing other things that interest you, that you feel passionate about, and to simply enjoy him when he is there.

“Have confidence in yourself, and don’t get needy around him,”
ALWAYS REMEMBER
If HE is ‘The One For You’ no one can ever take him away from you. NEVER EVER
If He’s ‘Not The One For You’ – nothing you do or say, or don’t do, or don’t say, will ever bring him to you.

If you are meant to be together – you will be – no one can keep you apart.

Nothing you do or say, will keep him away if he is meant to be with you.
There is no barrier, if two souls are meant to be one.

Think of yourselves as special – always – have faith – always
olga

Tags: dream relationship, inner child, inner matriarch, inner patriarch, losing energy, Relationships, snowgoose, soulmate, true love

Our Belief System IP – IC

I’m back……… have a brand new grandson, almost 9 days old. Need to shake up all the relationship myths before he enters the dating scene…………………………..

walking on egg shells ..........

Relationships

Ladies have you ever felt so “into a guy” that – you just didn’t exist anymore?

Lost your identity and took on his!

Like you were walking on egg shells, totally besotted, if he moved all of a sudden, you fell flat on your face!

When we focus on a man – he picks up on it.

You’d think he’d be flattered, that we SMS him whenever he pops into our head. Pleased, maybe even find it adorable, cute, that we’re all hung up on him and can’t get our minds on our own stuff. ‘The things that make us happy’.

Guess What? – That Never Happens!

The moment he gets a whiff of us focusing on him, thinking about him, wondering what he’s doing – we’re lost.

He withdraws and our self-esteem goes down the drain.

Most men, just naturally move away from us when it doesn’t feel good to be with us, especially, when the woman he’s with is zeroed in on him.

Men may be simple, but they’re not stupid.

For the most part, men use their gut instincts more than we do – they pick up on stuff.

Men may not be able to tell you what, or put it into words, yet they know how they FEEL, when they pick up on things. They don’t analyze their feelings like we do, they just feel an urge to move toward, or away from us, either want to touch, or not, without knowing why. They just feel like being there, or not being there. A clarity most women would love to have.

Men just don’t question their desires so much.

In Our Hearts – We know this to be true, yet it seems totally out of our control, or is it?

When you make changes on the outside – words/body language, things start to change on the inside. When you feel different on the inside, things change on the outside. 

Inner Parent!

Healing your Inner Parent, so that your  Inner Parent can make peace with your Inner Child, therefore the Inner Child will learn to trust again, and be happy.

Everything always gets better! 

That’s why it’s so important to Hold Onto Yourself.

NEW BELIEF SYSTEM

Believe it or not – Women – are the ones in control of relationships. The Inner Parent working side by side with the Inner Child is a force to be reckoned with.

The keys to the BMW are always with us. The BMW goes nowhere without the keys, which we hold firmly in our hands. We are the fuel, we are the rich interior, we are the comfortable leather seats, we are the engine, we are also the sleek exterior, and we HAVE THE KEYS. We don’t hand them over anymore, the moment he shows any interest.

We don’t need to be on that emotional rollercoaster anymore, as we are in control, we hold the keys.

So Ladies – open your hearts, yet hold them ever so softly in the palms of your hands. Let your hearts be seen, felt, allow them to radiate vibrant, warm energy, yet always be in control, always keep a soft, gentle grip. Share the warmth of your heart, while always being in control, always holding the keys in your hands.

Open-hearted and soft on the outside, strong on the inside. You can do it! We have that inner strength.

We don’t have any control over a man – not one little bit – but we have lots of control over ourselves.

Because we hold the keys.

We can control our breathing – and even our heart rate. We can control the words we say, the tone of voice we use, what and when we say it. We can control whether we step forward or backward, and so many other things, that can change our own feelings of wellbeing, especially the way HE sees us – are under our control. We hold the keys.

- remember – ‘WE HAVE THE KEYS’

p.s.- have been doing some research on ‘Men in Relationships’ – RSVP is a very interesting source of information. Will share some of my findings in my next post.

till next time

love olya

Tags: Belief systems, force to be reckoned with, hands, happy, hearts, IC & IP, identity, inner child, inner matriarch, Inner Parent, inner patriarch, keys.BMW, men in relationships, new belief system, Relationships, RSVP, self-esteem, walking on egg shells, we have the keys, women

Is It Possible .....................

Is It Possible ………. I Believe It Is 

Is it possible that we’re born with the power to reverse disease, create peace and abundance, and even change reality itself?

Scientific discoveries now reveal that our belief system affects everything from the healing of our bodies, to the atoms of our world!

We live our lives based on what we believe.  At any moment of any day, our actions, choices, abundance, health, career, relationships, – begin with a belief.  Yet, do we really know the consequences of our true beliefs?  Is our belief system controlling the fate of our lives?

Does a change in our perception hold the timeless secret to healing anything from our physical body to our relationships, career, or anything else we perceive?

Olya

Tags: Belief systems, career, change reality itself, create abundance, create peace, heal our body, heal our mind, heal our soul, physical body, Relationships, reverse disease, scientific discovery