Jun 22 2008

‘Relationship Energy’ – Wanting What You Can’t Have.

Category: Relationship EnergyOlya @ 7:02 pm

Wanting What You Can’t Have

A Snow Goose Need Not Bathe To Make Herself White.

A Snow Goose Need Not Bathe To Make Herself White.

“A Snow Goose Need Not Bathe To Make Herself White, Neither Need You Do Anything, But Be Yourself.” L.T.

 

Ladies – Have you ever felt like you were losing your energy for relationships?

Like the men you meet are draining you, instead of energizing you?

“Your Soulmate will reflect the True You, as Love reflects Love.”

Who is at play here – the Inner Child, Inner Matriarch, Inner Patriarch?

Are we just puppets on a string?  Mind boggles ……….

THE MOMENT YOU GIVE UP WHAT YOU WANT, FOR A MAN, SO HE CAN HAVE WHAT HE WANTS,

 YOU LOSE. BIG TIME.  HUGE…….

Work on yourselves, your dreams, instead of trying to turn a man, who may not be the one, into a relationship.

STOP all that obsessing and see clearly where the relationship is, is not, and where you want it to be.

And by ‘RELATIONSHIP‘ – It can be – after your first phone conversation, coffee, dinner, or even years of waiting for him, because he told you that he needed one year of healing, for every ten years of past relationship time.

Simply ‘not true’ past pain just washes away, when you meet the right one.

Have you ever felt completely besotted within a relationship, or by the prospect of a future relationship, that you couldn’t see a big enough picture of what was really going on?

If you are “crazy for a man” in a way that he is not expressing to YOU – it could be, that you are pushing him away with your actions. The energy has to come FROM the man TO us. If it doesn’t, he experiences it as a PUSH, and may withdraw. Trying to get the love and energy from him that you so truly want, by giving too much, will only drive him away.

 

…..it is not easy, when you’re thinking about someone you’re attracted to. Wanting it to be a particular way, yet, he’s just not there physically, emotionally or energetically ………. The problem is, WOMEN are natural givers, and many times, they get taken for granted. That is why, the game of “being unavailable sometimes” has ALWAYS been popular.

“Being there for a man” is a great thing – but not always. Just sometimes. There is no point, being in an exclusive relationship, where you are giving all the time, yet not receiving. It is not a real relationship when your are not feeling fulfilled, satisfied and secure.

A woman who takes on an always-there-for-you-sexually, emotionally, energetically, physically, No Matter How You Treat Me or fulfill My Needs quality, and a long-suffering, understanding “his issues” quality – will always be looked at by any man as a Doormat. Disposable woman you dump, when the hot girl who really IS “hard-to-get” shows up.

Write down – how YOU want your relationship to look, now and in the future.

‘If his line is …’

“I want to have a great time with you, and just see where it takes us…” RUN, DON’T WALK

IT MEANS – he doesn’t want a real long term relationship – What He Really Wants Is A -
mother, maid, girl friday, therapist, hooker, nurse, business partner, sister, friend.

We either hold back and don’t say what’s on our minds, and how we feel, or, we pour our feelings all over him, and he runs.

A man wants a woman, He Has To Work For- and once he has her, she is then “There for him.” In a good way for both.

THE BEST WAY TO “BE THERE” FOR A MAN IS TO BE THERE FOR YOURSELF
No man wants a woman who presents herself to him on a silver platter.
Have a life that doesn’t focus on him constantly. Be happy even when he’s not there.
You have to find a way, by spending time and energy doing other things that interest you, that you feel passionate about, and to simply enjoy him when he is there.

“Have confidence in yourself, and don’t get needy around him,”
ALWAYS REMEMBER
If HE is ‘The One For You’ no one can ever take him away from you. NEVER EVER
If He’s ‘Not The One For You’ – nothing you do or say, or don’t do, or don’t say, will ever bring him to you.

If you are meant to be together – you will be – no one can keep you apart.

Nothing you do or say, will keep him away if he is meant to be with you.
There is no barrier, if two souls are meant to be one.

Think of yourselves as special – always – have faith – always
olga

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May 31 2008

Relationships – ‘Our Belief System’

Category: Relationship Belief SystemOlya @ 6:54 pm

Our Belief System IP – IC

 

I’m back……… have a brand new grandson, almost 9 days old. Need to shake up all the relationship myths before he enters the dating scene…………………………..

 

walking on egg shells ..........

walking on egg shells ..........

Relationships

 

 

Ladies have you ever felt so “into a guy” that – you just didn’t exist anymore?

Lost your identity and took on his!

Like you were walking on egg shells, totally besotted, if he moved all of a sudden, you fell flat on your face!

When we focus on a man – he picks up on it.

You’d think he’d be flattered, that we SMS him whenever he pops into our head. Pleased, maybe even find it adorable, cute, that we’re all hung up on him and can’t get our minds on our own stuff. ‘The things that make us happy’.

Guess What? – That Never Happens!

The moment he gets a whiff of us focusing on him, thinking about him, wondering what he’s doing – we’re lost.

He withdraws and our self-esteem goes down the drain.

Most men, just naturally move away from us when it doesn’t feel good to be with us, especially, when the woman he’s with is zeroed in on him.

Men may be simple, but they’re not stupid.

For the most part, men use their gut instincts more than we do – they pick up on stuff.

Men may not be able to tell you what, or put it into words, yet they know how they FEEL, when they pick up on things. They don’t analyze their feelings like we do, they just feel an urge to move toward, or away from us, either want to touch, or not, without knowing why. They just feel like being there, or not being there. A clarity most women would love to have.

Men just don’t question their desires so much.

In Our Hearts – We know this to be true, yet it seems totally out of our control, or is it?

When you make changes on the outside – words/body language, things start to change on the inside. When you feel different on the inside, things change on the outside. 

Inner Parent!

Healing your Inner Parent, so that your  Inner Parent can make peace with your Inner Child, therefore the Inner Child will learn to trust again, and be happy.

Everything always gets better! 

That’s why it’s so important to Hold Onto Yourself.

NEW BELIEF SYSTEM

Believe it or not – Women – are the ones in control of relationships. The Inner Parent working side by side with the Inner Child is a force to be reckoned with.

The keys to the BMW are always with us. The BMW goes nowhere without the keys, which we hold firmly in our hands. We are the fuel, we are the rich interior, we are the comfortable leather seats, we are the engine, we are also the sleek exterior, and we HAVE THE KEYS. We don’t hand them over anymore, the moment he shows any interest.

We don’t need to be on that emotional rollercoaster anymore, as we are in control, we hold the keys.

So Ladies – open your hearts, yet hold them ever so softly in the palms of your hands. Let your hearts be seen, felt, allow them to radiate vibrant, warm energy, yet always be in control, always keep a soft, gentle grip. Share the warmth of your heart, while always being in control, always holding the keys in your hands.

Open-hearted and soft on the outside, strong on the inside. You can do it! We have that inner strength.

We don’t have any control over a man – not one little bit – but we have lots of control over ourselves.

Because we hold the keys.

We can control our breathing – and even our heart rate. We can control the words we say, the tone of voice we use, what and when we say it. We can control whether we step forward or backward, and so many other things, that can change our own feelings of wellbeing, especially the way HE sees us – are under our control. We hold the keys.

- remember – ‘WE HAVE THE KEYS’

p.s.- have been doing some research on ‘Men in Relationships’ – RSVP is a very interesting source of information. Will share some of my findings in my next post.

till next time

love olya

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